Speaking on Our Thoughts...

At approximately 5:45 p.m. Central Standard Time on Monday, September 28, just over 7 days from the time i climbed a ladder up to the rooftop of the Amun Ra Theatre's Playhouse to live until we raised enough money to expand our community outreach programming, particularly our Youth Performing Arts Academy, i walked down a ladder live on National Radio, on the Michael Baisden Show.

and history began anew in Nashville.

i'm going to save you a little research, for those who don't know the enormity of what is happening over on Clifton Avenue in North Nashville, Tennessee. we're building a model for an artistic movement that is historic within its own right. if you've visited the website for the Amun Ra Theatre, you know what a dedicated group of people has done by pulling together. we operate the first African-American theater company with it's own free-standing facility in Nashville since the Majestic in 1906. that's One Hundred and Three Years.

that's a crying shame.

it's a crying shame because there has been more than 100 years of talent flowing through the city of Music, which was given that designation through the exploits of the Fisk Jubilee Singers. that's where the term "Music City" came from, as the Negro Spiritual was introduced to the world by this group of skinny young farmhands and former slaves who dared assert themselves and their gifts with the mission of bringing in the resources to build an institution.

it's a crying shame because you had giants from Moses Gunn to Oprah Winfrey matriculating here in the city at college campuses through various points of history, being tutored and mentored by giants like Dr. Thomas E. Poag and W. Dury Cox, who exposed the entire world to the talent of young people who were determined to make their voices heard through depressions and movements, and massive moments in time.

it's a crying shame because in this city, at this time, like in other cities larger and smaller, there are young people who are gifted beyond belief with intellect, voice, movement, creativity, and some smarts beyond their years, and the only thing they need is some grown folks to step to the plate, hear their pain, and offer them some relief and direction.

well, the time for tears is over.

the company i'm pleased to work for and with has distinguished itself among arts organizations in Nashville. it's an honor to work with all of the talent i've encountered over the last several years. through re-establishing the holiday tradition of performing the family holiday musical Black Nativity, to performing at all the major venues in the city including the Tennessee Performing Arts Center, The Ryman Auditorium, The Fisk Memorial Chapel, The Belcourt, and Tennessee State University's Performing Arts Center, ART's showcasing of stories of importance to people of African descent has been an awesome responsibility to oversee.

people have now ensured that the future is happening right now.

because people stepped up and covered us, we now have the funds and vision to advance the teaching of our young people in the arts on a whole new level. our model is simple: provide a season of shows that reveal the hidden light of African-American culture, utilizing the revenue to fund our outreach program, the Performing ARTs Academy. even our Jazz Ensemble, Choral and Dance Ensemble, and New Playwright's Series give North Nashville a cultural oasis that feeds all who seek replenishing.

we do not apologize for who we are. we stand on our principles:

* we have exceptionally high artistic standards

* we believe in pushing ourselves and our children, because we stand on powerful shoulders

* we believe we owe a debt to the previous generations who struggled for us to live our dreams

* we believe in our children

i've come to know that you know a tree by the fruit that it bears, and it bears mentioning that it's time for us to stop over-spending time analyzing our children and get to providing models of success for them; models they can both see and touch.

people from all over this nation have enabled us to do that now on a whole new level.

i'm off the roof now, thanks to the united efforts of a lot of people doing whatever they could to see me down. sure, someone remarked that "other people" don't have to get onto rooftops to raise millions; someone else intoned that i shouldn't have been "on that roof for a week." i'll leave that debate to the talkers. i've got too much work to do. the bottom line is that the people brought me down through the power of word-of-mouth and vision.

i have to thank Brother Michael Baisden for putting us out there nationally. Baisden has proven that he's not ashamed to speak out on issues that are important. what sets him fully apart from many paid pundits, is that Michael seeks answers and puts his money where his mouth is.

this is how we're going to make a real change.

now that i'm down, i'm humbled to see the $30,000 goal still rising! that means, with every new dollar people give, i'm going to be able to do more to reach the people who need their talent exposed and their dreams realized. we're on the front lines, doing the doggone thing, and we're going to stay on the battlefield. we left the fundraising page open, for those who may just be hearing about this movement and want to share in it. please visit and leave your donation and mark on the growing Wall of Fame. www.firstgiving.com/art.

i learned so much on the rooftop, especially during the storms, that i'm going to have to write a book to share all the revelations. as soon as i can get a publisher and some distribution, you'll be reading about those times, and hopefully those revelations will help others work through their storms. stay tuned.

in the meantime, know that with each passing day, each click on the sites and facebooks and tweets, and each view of Youtube (where our introductory video, showcased below, has gone almost viral), we move that much closer to bringing about the healing our people need, so they can take their rightful place in the symphony of humanity.

i think i hear some music playing...

i arose with the sun this morning, feeling a sense of enlightenment within, and entitlement without of the power to shape and mold intangible dreams into a tangible reality. we are all creators, collectively, endowed with the ability to look into each others' eyes, find purpose, agree, then get up off our behinds and put in the work.

people are putting in work today.


i have to thank Margie for dropping by a cup of coffee this morning, and a NY Times, so i can be in touch with what's going on on the ground of the world around my rooftop home. i was about to crack open the paper, when i had the opportunity to speak with one of my favorite community leaders, The Gospel Diva, Connie Dennell of 92Q, WQQK 92.1FM. Sister Connie allowed me a few moments to share with her listeners the power of this movement that is coming from the rooftop.

and did that sharing plant a seed.

we're just about $6,000.00 away from hitting our Target Goal, but Connie Delivered. like Kenny Smoov Delivered. like Michael Baisden delivered. like All of You delivered. like ANONYMOUS delivered.

i cannot say her name, because i promised it would be between she, i, and God, as much of giving should be, but i can say that--on faith--she came by and dropped a gift in the bucket.

$1,000.00

all praises. this vision is manifesting, and you're all making it so. i can't write much else right now. i have to get this bucket up and down the building, because cars are flowing by and people are honking, and life is changing and a community is standing up for itself, and i'm here to testify that dreams CAN happen, and they can be made REAL.

i may actually get to see my family again. soon.

let's keep it rolling, folks.

have you heard of a city
where the streets are paved with gold?
have you heard of a city
where the streets are paved with gold?
have you heard of a city
where the streets are paved with gold?
there are 12 gates to the city
hallelujah.
-Traditional

many pathways, many entrances, many various ways to reach the fortune. by the fortune, i mean not the pot of figurative gold that awaits us when we reach the goal of raising the $30,000.00 that will bring me from this rain-weathered tent. when i think of fortune and of glory, i now know that it is in the form of human capital; a mass that cannot be balanced by all of the shiny metallic gold in the world.

people are just freakin' invaluable.

people like Trazana A. Staples, who took it upon herself to contact the Michael Baisden Show and share the info on the Rooftop quest, with accompanying video. i don't know what she said or what she did, but the show called and within a couple of hours, i was telling our story to a nation of people worldwide. priceless.

people like Michael Baisden himself, who, after reading about the theatre and the fact that i was on the rooftop trying to raise needed funds, not only put us "on blast" on the radio, but he personally pledged $1,000.00 to the cause at hand. priceless.

people like James R. Threalkill, a gifted and talented artist and executive, who came out in the drizzling rain, and dropped a corporate gift that will allow us to manifest this dream i lie on top of on Clifton Avenue.

people like Molly Secours, Corabel Shofner, Chip Arnold, the list goes on and on, too numerous to mention or record, but all of them gateways to riches untold.

i've been blessed today, to have encountered people who came and placed both dollars and cents into a bucket for me to hoist up a building. i realized, more now than ever, that i am not receiving money from all the people who come. i'm receiving the blessing of humanity's kindness to one another.

that's a gateway into a city i never want to leave.

what a day this has been
what a rare mood i'm in
why, it's almost like being in love

there's a smile on my face
for the whole human race
why, it's almost like being in love

all the music of life seems to be
like a bell that is ringing for me
and from the way that i feel
and when that bell starts to peel
i could swear i was falling
swear i was falling
well, it's almost like being in love

-lerner/loewe (the Nat King Cole version is my favorite, but Ole' Blues Eyes also rocked it)

it's a warm night, the skies are relatively clear, and the people in the big section 8 unit are only half as loud as they were last night. brother "H" has only been stumbling in the street drunk a couple of times as opposed to 3 or 4, and instead of revealing to me that "they found a cure for HIV--look it up on your net thing" repeatedly, he's only yelled that to me twice today.

sister "S", one of the local members of "the oldest profession," who has offered me some relief by counting down to "midnight" so she can "sneak up on the roof to give me a gift," is not pressuring me unduly--especially since i playfully let her know that i'm not on "that kind of mission."

yes, the relative goodness of life on the roof of the 'hood is judged by its own unique set of quality standards.

but it wasn't so much that the 'hood was a little more quiet today--that will change tomorrow, when "Payday" arrives for many who are fortunate enough to find themselves employed; it wasn't that i had a chance to teach a quick class of gifted and hungry actors, stealing an opportunity to stretch my gangling legs for a few minutes. although each of these, to themselves, is a delightful treat for a man stranded, isolated in a sense, from most physical human contact and relegated to a Marvel-esque status of galactic "Watcher," they alone were not the reason the fore quoted song lept into my heart and mind.

i sing/ because i'm happy
i sing/ because i'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
and i know He watches
Me
-Traditional

i felt like a giant sparrow today, as so many people came by, called, Facebooked, Twitted, and showed me that there is a God in this sky that blankets me in submission every night. i was humming "what a day this has been," as each one of my fellow alums from Leadership Music came by the theater, or emailed or clicked on the post and donated. it felt good to know that people care enough to part with something as meaningful to the world as money, all for a cause greater than themselves.

i felt the love from all who have sent requests for updates on "Life on The Roof," not because they are satisfying some carnal voyeuristic longing for intrusion into my personal life; rather, they are genuinely concerned that i am eating, am safe, and will not be in harm's way. so i don't mind recording the videos and posting them; they give the added benefit of making me not feel that i am by myself in this quest; that yes, i may lay my head down in a solitary shelter, and i may walk the hot, black tarred surface as the sun beats down its rays upon only two legs.

but i'm not by myself.

i'm lifted by the donations; i'm boosted by the drive-bys and the honks. and even when i get a curious look from some who slow down their vehicles as if to say, "is that what i think it is up there," or even a threat--real or in jest--to "shoot yo' ass from up there!" (yeah, that too, happened today) i'm ever renewed with a sense of hope, and in the words of the old slang in South Nashville:

i ain't pressed.

so here's a quick video of how i get to eating and collecting. don't know if i'll stay up late tonight or not. for some reason, i feel the urge to pull my emergency ladder up early.

long before...midnight.

last night was a bit of a booger. and who wants even a bit of a booger, because it takes every bit as much effort to eradicate as a full-blown one. you still have to dig deep, contain and eliminate it, and even after it's gone, you can't shake the feeling that it's still with you, especially when you encounter someone else.

so yeah, last night was indeed, just like that. there wasn't a monsoon by far, or for that matter, an extra-torrential downpour; there was, however, a stiff and driving rain, exacerbated by a wind, made more complicated the fact that i was up on top of a tree-less roof, dead in the middle of the flow of air, inside a tent that could not be staked deep into the ground.

boogerish enough?

i was cool at first. there had been sporadic showers, but i had figured out, by late evening, how to pack and move inside in record time, sealing the door enough behind me to keep my electricity (which i have piped in through an industrial grounded cord) intact and the tent dry. well, relatively dry. last night was the true test of its ability to withstand the storm. with a few exceptions, it rose to the occasion. those exceptions, were small boogers.

i learned that tents are pretty waterproof, but that waterproofing is relative. being able to repel a shower is a little different from being able to emerged from total immersion in water and be barely moist. this tent got wet, and it let me know it.

to start off, i'm 6 feet and about a couple inches. i'm not sure, but i think the tent's floor is just larger than that, which means when i stretch out, the arch of the tent going to the floor is just over my head and feet. i have space now--for a temporary dwelling, this bad boy is nice--but it's definitely a short-term shelter. i was reminded of that, not as i was listening blissfully (see my facebook pic) to the light patter of raindrops on the ceiling of my pro tem housing, but when that patter turned to smatter and dribbling turned to drum, as the thunder came.

and with it, the lightning.

i respect lightning. i shut my mouth and breathed deep and recalled that my mother and father used to always say, when rain came, "go somewhere and sit down and be quiet son; The Lord is working." so i took the age-old advice and lay back, with my mouth sealed. i'd been Skyping with my wife and i noticed that all was quiet at home. resolutely, i closed the laptop and stored it in the plastic bin i brought up to shelter my prized technology in. i sat back and braced myself. then i remembered something:

the ladder. i hadn't brought it up.

sure, that wouldn't have been a problem under some circumstances; i wasn't worried about anyone climbing up the ladder--that would take bravery. i was more concerned with theft--that only takes cowardice. and it wouldn't be my neighborhood folks; they know me and they know the theater. we look out for each other. like in most cases, it would be the predatory types that wander through the 'hood, looking for easy pickings. and a brothah with a wife 3 weeks from term on a new baby cannot afford to be left stranded on the roof without an out.

so i sat up and wondered if i could take a chance, throw on my shoes, and pull the ladder up during the downpour; a bolt of lightning that illuminated most of the tent answered that question instantaneously. i instantly had a vision of me, on the back of the roof, metal ladder in hand, having my skeleton illuminated by a thread of lightning that would leave me either deceased, grossly deformed, or, at the least, wondering who my family and friends are.

Lord, protect my ladder. you know my heart, Lord. you know it's not really my ladder, but one that one of your other children lent to me. bind it in your love and protection, Lord; stand Angels at it to guard it from all harm and disappearance. keep it ever in my care, oh Lord. hear my prayer. Amen.

and i stretched back out. the rain beat down and the thunder rolled, and the water came, and some of it got in, and i dabbed it up, and wiped it down. i saw some movie once, years ago, where some kids were out camping during a rainstorm. one kid told the other that he heard that if you touched a spot in a tent with your finger, it would leak. they made a bet and both touched the roof of the tent. it leaked, almost pouring water. i was fascinated--for one second-with that concept, and i stretched my finger toward the tent ceiling.

nah. i ain't chancing it.

i twisted, i turned, and i longed for the confines of my home and bed, to feel the rounded stomach of my wife against the small of my back, pressing ever closer until my yet-to-be-born child finds it uncomfortable enough to kick against me through the womb, giving me that sense that there is something there that makes the world larger than me. yea, important.

the mound of comforter does not replace that feeling; nothing could. the marveling at the miracle of life is an endless mental pursuit that sends one off into the land of blessed dreams, even as it spins the minds' wheels at millions of miles per hour. there i lay with my comforter and my wind and my rain, alone, but not...lonely.

i was not lonely; i was not afraid. i was resolved. resolved to stay on this battlefield, even as there are surely those around who could not understand what could drive a black man to a rooftop in the middle of the 'hood.

as one donor who came by and left what he could said today, "A white man ain't got to get up on a roof to raise no money; He just got to pick up the phone. So i'm giving what i can to let you know that we got you."

he was right on some levels. for some, it's odd to see a black man on the roof--that's something we "just don't do" in urban folklore. debates on how to raise money will continue through the end of time in the non-profit sector. what that cat said that struck me was the last sentence. he wanted to let me know "we got you."

he's right about that. and i remembered that when i was laying in that bed of storm on last night: that i'm actively engaged in a massive test of faith. this is when the rubber of faith meets the road of communal action. we got you is all around me.

* it's around me when a 93 year old Queen Mother named Burnece Brunson can suffer a fall, but on her way to the doctor, make time to stop by to see me climb the ladder on my first day and to hand me our first donated dollar, only to follow that up today with $500 more.

* it's around me when the disabled man from up the block tells me he "saw me on tv" and gives me what's left of his grocery money on a return trip from the store.

* it's around me when an Odie Blackmon takes the time to make a donation, then drive over to the theater under the auspices of "talking me down from the roof," only to offer to buy me breakfast and to pat me on the back and give me encouragement that i'm on the right path.

*it's around me when i take a break from writing, as i just did, to receive a gift from the lady who lives in the section 8 unit across the street, who has decided to fulfill her promise to my wife to "look out for me" by bringing me a cold drink and a bag of potato chips each night at sundown.

and, doggone it, it's around me when a student--a student for crying out loud--leaves a five dollar donation on the website with a message that they wish they could do more, but they wanted us to know they believe in what we're doing.

that is the essence of We Got You.

ART needs this money, but more than that, we all need to experience the feeling of we got you.

the sun has gone down, and the son of Cathy and the late Haywood now has to check the fund-raising page, see the vision, and remember that this is a bigger thing than a man living on a roof in a tent.

i know that now; i just need to get more people to feel what i'm feeling. and that is why i'm here and i cannot leave. come hell or high water, i have people who depend on me to help their dreams become a reality; so i stay, a renewed fortitude, so i can let them know that through it all, when all others have forgotten about them, they are are not alone. ART will exist beyond us all, and let all who come and experience our know one thing: in the end, when no one else may care...

we got you.

Beginning Monday, Sept 21st at high noon, i'll be LIVING on the roof of the ART Playhouse at 2508 Clifton Ave in North Nashville. That's right, i'm going up and i will stay there until we have collected the funds needed for us to close out 2009 and enter 2010 ahead of the game, with our Youth Performing ARTs Academy leading the way. i want to expand the Academy into a YEAR-ROUND program, and to do that, i need your help, from wherever you might be in this world.

Our Goal: $30,000.00.

If just 300 of you gather TEN DOLLARS from TEN of your friends, then you'll be the real "300" and i'll put you up against the "Spaah-Tans" anytime! Plus, i'll have a special memento to give you when we've reached the goal.
i'm doing this because i believe in the Mission of ART, and more importantly, i believe in the folk saying, "When spiderwebs unite, they can tie up a lion." Be the friend you have been, and i look forward to getting down from that roof and announcing an absolutely tantalizing 2010 Season of Plays and a new initiative for the Kids. In the meantime, check back here daily, because i'll be blogging regularly, as well as doing Facebook, Twitter, and interviews with local media, including 92Q, with community hero, Kenny Smoov.

Save me! For real, though. For those who don't know, my wife and i are expecting our 4th child, and she's due on Nov. 1st! So we'd really, REALLY appreciate it if you got me back home before the midwife comes...
joc%20rooftop%20flyer.jpg

ever heard this one: "i'm praying for you that God will_______________(fill in the blank)."

it's rampant within what i call the Outwardly Demonstrative Body of Christ. i've encountered countless people who, although they have no idea of my favorite color, what my Mama's name is, or where(and when) i choose to attend the equivalent of "church service," let me know--without me asking, exactly and specifically what they are praying for me to receive.

now, don't get me wrong. i'm big on prayer. i'm HUGE on it, matter of fact. i believe it is the single most powerful way of manifesting dreams and affirming the call of God inside us all. it is an intensely personal, direct way of talking to the Creative Force of the entire Universe; the one way that no one else can interfere with or get in between. even when one has no cell phone, internet access, or pen 'n paper; even when one is locked alone in prison or on a deserted island, it is the one form of communication that cannot be blocked or prevented.

so it is an invaluable conversation that--in many cases--should be kept between the Pray-er and God.

but oh, it's so hard to do that, isn't it? the gossipy, judgmental nature of human beings often times transforms the intensely personal conversation of prayer into simply another opportunity to impose one's philosophy, perspective, or judgment onto another, under the auspices of "Praying for you."

cases in point: have you ever asked an old person to keep you in prayer? if you're smart, you have. here's how that conversation goes.

Granny: "how you doin', baby?"

You: "i'm working through some things on my job. can you pray for me?"

Granny: "i sure will baby. i'm gonna keep you in prayer, and what God brings you to, He'll bring you through!"

oh they keep it plain and simple. and, most of the time, they keep the specifics to themselves, between them and God, and usually they pray for "His will to be done."

you gotta love that.

in this modern day, however, the conversation is different. many so-called "Christians" could care less about amplifying the good energy you're desiring from God by adding their quiet, personal voice to a small army of well-wishers with your best interests at heart, and more about seizing an opportunity to offer their psycho-analysis as Confessors who can help steer you in the direction they perceive is right for you by offering to pray. one must beware of those who try to insert themselves into others lives as the self-appointed surrogate of God's "will."

you know a tree by the fruit it bears. how do you know the Judgment-as-Prayer folk? by learning how to translate the Christianspeak. let's go with some sample phrases. this will give you an introductory sample to meditate on as we continue to explore the ways in which we try to tell people--directly and indirectly--OUR plans for their lives, using God as the cover.

Phrase:
"you know, i've been praying that God will bless you in this job like never before."

Translation:
"i don't know why you won't just keep a damn job like the rest of us. if you feel something isn't right, you get up and leave. i don't do that. i may hate my job, but i'm not going to quit, so i want you to be miserable like me and just stay there so i won't feel bad about my decision to do the same."

Phrase:
"i've been praying that you are truly (really, honestly) happy in this relationship."

Translation:
"i don't think you should be with this person, because i think i know you better than anyone, so i think ya'll aren't right for each other. but since you say you're happy, then you're probably pretending you are, like i am, for the outside world. so maybe if i tell you this, then you'll pretend even harder, and fool yourself into believing you are, even though i know you aren't--'cuz i KNOW you."

Phrase:
"i've been praying that the Lord would open up your eyes so that you can see who your true friends really are."

Translation:
"you act like you don't know me anymore. yeah, i know i complain all the time about my situation, and you told me that's depressing to you, but hell, everybody else has cut me off and i need somebody to vent with and dump on. answer the phone when i call you and sit on the other end while i complain about all the things that are wrong with me and why i can't catch a break. that's what 'friends' are for."

Phrase:
"i've been praying that you will listen to what God has been trying to tell you."

Translation:
"i don't understand what the hell you're doing, so that must mean you're lost--because you owe me an explanation for your action that i can understand and approve of. so why don't you ask me what God wants you to do so i can tell you my opinion and you can follow it to the letter."

the danger of this outward offering of specific prayer disclosure is that it is often bundled, in a similar fashion as say, phone and internet, with "Prophecy." in this case, people get flashes about your life that they share--without you asking. here are some sample phrases from the "prophets." you may have heard them before. for the fun of it, i've included some evolved responses that i usually give, of course, not suggesting you use them, but feel free to, if they tickle your fancy.

Phrase:
"i need to tell you this: The Lord told me that you are my Husband/Wife."

Translation 1:
"i think you're freaking hot. i don't know you that well, but i think you'd make some good babies, and you're responsible and i think my family would like you. come on, let's do this!"

Translation 2:
"why in the world are you with the person you're with? i look better than them. i'm smarter than they are. we would get along better. i'm better for you. what do they have that i don't have? you know we used to date and i told all my friends i had you on lock, now you're running around looking all lovey-dovey with someone else. i hope ya'll mess up real bad so i can say i told you so and you can come crawling back and i can have a one up on you."

Response:
"that's great. when The Lord tells me the same thing, i'll give you a call."

Phrase:
"uoy ot gniyas mi lleh eht tahw swonk dog neve kniht tnod i." (whispered into your ear, followed by) "that was from God to you. he'll reveal what it means."

Translation:
(just read the line backwards first) "i'm trying to impress upon you that i have a spiritual gift that is so deep you have to pay attention, because i'm delivering it in tongues. even if you don't get it, you'll think i'm so deep that you'll listen to whatever i tell you you should do from here on out."

Response:
"uhm...repita en englis, por favor?"

i had an old acquaintance once that owed me a pretty significant amount of money. over time, i guess they forgot they owed me. i saw them at church, and they came up, years later, grabbed both my hands and told me The Lord had a "message for me." i said, "okay." so they leaned in and whispered some garbled strangeness with no discernable pattern or syntax into my ear, leaned back and looked me in the eye, and nodded with a smile. i swear, i almost said, "Yes...Yes...The Lord just told me you're paying me back my money tonight," but i didn't. at that moment, i just let it all go, including the debt in my mind (hmmm, is that what God was telling me to do?). i knew, even then, that the need to impose one's self and thoughts on others was starting to get out of hand.

in closing, it's important to remember that the best of wishes are the ones that go unannounced. when we love people, we pray for them, most of the time in secret. it's one thing if you request specificity from someone in prayer. that's understandable because we do speak things into existence. it's one thing is you ask for thoughts, or opinions, or the perspective of a person with a prophetic gift (i know people who are quite prophetic, and they rarely bombard people who don't ask for their thoughts).

it's another thing when you push yourself onto others and try to shape and mold their lives, and use Prayer as a way to coerce them. those are the types of prayers you should keep inside your head.

some things are best left unspoken.

Labels: prayer